Sharing resources
CNN and its parent company, Warner Bros. Discovery, offer all employees mental health resources. Yet Doug Maxfield, director of the company's health and wellness team, notes that "as it relates directly to journalists, there's an extra connection to national and world events that could really take a toll."
"A journalist in the field can be exposed to really traumatic situations that many of us can't even imagine," Maxfield said. "Because of this, we arrange some special assistance for our news division."
There are counselors, available across the globe for CNN employees, who have experience in treating these difficult mental traumas.
When John arrived in Ukraine, she noticed these resources weren't reaching the Ukrainian freelancers who had become an integral part of CNN's reporting.
"You're seeing images of children, of parents, of grandparents just being killed," John said. "I was fresh to it and I found it really traumatizing. It's another level when you're Ukrainian. It's your country."
John flagged the oversight to her team leaders back in London. They were able to coordinate a translator so the Ukrainian journalists could use CNN's London-based mental health resources.
Team leaders for CNN in Ukraine also started organizing in-person sessions too, like a team trip to the record store.
"It's very powerful to talk to people and colleagues about your experiences," John said.
After Ukraine
Back home in London, John had a few weeks off, per protocol for CNN journalists who return from a war zone. During that time, she struggled with being unable to "switch off" from the story.
"I thought I was fine, and then I talked to my therapist and I was a complete mess. She was like: 'This is completely fine. It's normal for you to feel this way,' " John said. "I was just devastated and incredibly saddened by what I saw and experienced."
John described the intense guilt she felt leaving the community of local and foreign journalists who had welcomed her during her deployment.
"You get very, very close quite quickly. So leaving them feels almost like a cop out," she said. "I did not feel well. I couldn't unwind for the first time."
John confided in her father-in-law, a former foreign correspondent, about the guilt she carried home with her from Ukraine.
"Even though you're relieved to be home, you feel like you have a duty to finish the story or to stick with the story," John said. "It's quite hard to detach yourself from that."
In an effort to detach during her post-deployment time off, John took a holiday, read a lot of fiction and, of course, kept up with her breathwork.
That's the one thing she keeps coming back to no matter the assignment.
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